Endless Prom

[cheeto]

NAME: Katie
JOURNAL: superkappa
CONTACT: AIM: moongoddessSK email: mostlyverytired@gmail.com
CURRENT CHARACTERS: Cordelia Chase

CHARACTER NAME:Jessica Hamby
FANDOM: True Blood
GRADE: Junior
MOST LIKELY TO:Feed from students
YEARBOOK QUOTE: "I'm not most girls. I'm not even a girl, technically."

PERSONALITY: Jessica is almost the living embodiment of the old nursery rhyme, "There was a girl, who had a curl in the middle of her forehead, and when she was good she was very good, and when she was bad she was horrible."

That is to say, Jessica is the sort of character who has two dueling natures. Part of this is because she's a vampire, and part of it because she lived a very, very repressed life before she was turned and now she suddenly has all this freedom and power for the first time ever in her life, and she has no idea how to deal with any of it.

For the most part, Jessica tries to be a good girl like she was always raised to be. And sometimes, it actually works. When she's with Hoyt, who usually shows her love and acceptance, she's sweet and calm. The normal childish tendencies that can be seen in her as assuaged because she doesn't have to worry about him liking her or not, he already does. For the first time in her life, someone just accepts and loves her, and it feels almost too good to be true.

And that's important to her, because what Jessica wants and needs more than anything else in life is acceptance. It was something she never got from her father who repressed and beat her, and her mother who turned a blind eye to her plight. When she got turned she looked for it from Bill, Eric and Pam but they all decided she was too annoying to deal with. And that's hard on her, because she feels like she doesn't have a place in the world. She's not like the other vampires, but she's not a regular girl either. And she doesn't know what she wants to be. This is why when Hoyt breaks up with her in the end of season two, it's extremely traumatizing on her. Because he was the one person who seemed to love her no matter what, and in her eyes she screwed that up too. So what was the point in trying anymore?

She's very fragile, and at this point in her life, she could really go one of two ways. She could grow into being a powerful, good vampire, or she could become an out of control monster. The problem is part of her wants to be both, she is torn between her two innate natures. More than anything else, she wants someone else to tell her what to be, to shower her what's right, but she has no guidance. Bill turned her and then basically abandoned her and she has all these changes and urges that she just doesn't understand. So it makes her angry, because that's how most people respond to that which they don't understand.

In many ways, Jessica is like a small child. Though she wants to be good, to be liked and loved, she's very immature. When she doesn't get her way, she's very likely to sling insults and pout and throw fits. The world seems unfair to her, like it's picking on her for some reason she can't understand. This is especially seen in her interactions with Bill, who she blames for her situation, as he's the one who turned her in the first place.

Even when she manages to find things to be happy, it seems like she's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because she's not used to things going right in her life because they never have before. In a way, a lot of her acting out is a form of deflection. A way to try to push people away before they can get too close and hurt her. And even when she does manage to form a bond, she can never understand it. Because she hates herself and doesn’t know how to love who or what she’s become, she can’t understand why anyone else would care about her.

Jessica also has a lot of anger in her and has no idea how to control herself when she gets angry. This is shown when she tries to get revenge on her father for beating her, or when she bites Hoyt's mother for insulting her and her relationship with Hoyt. Because Bill is always off with Sookie or doing other things than teaching Jessica she has no idea how to control her vampiric nature.

But one of the most humanizing things about Jessica is that she still feels intense guilt over the things she does after she loses control. She still has a conscience, and because of that, when she messes up it just reconfirms her already existing ideas about lack of self worth. Although she initially seems to really enjoy the freedom that was given to her by being turned, it’s also caused her to see herself as something less than human. More and more, she begins seeing herself as a monster, because how could she do the things she does without being one?

This is especially true for the canon point I am pulling her from. In a lot of ways, she sees killing that man on accident as the point of no return. She was a monster who wasn't allowed to be happy, that's how she saw herself. But by picking her up before that, it gives her a chance to go another route, perhaps one that teaches her control and a way to like herself. A way to exist in something other than self loathing and shame.

[IF YOU ARE AGING YOUR CHARACTER DOWN] HOW WILL AGING YOUR CHARACTER DOWN AFFECT THEIR PERSONALITY? Nope, doesn't apply to me move along.

AU HISTORY:
• Jessica grows up with a really right wing conservative family. Sometimes her dad beats her because he's a douchenozzle. Also, homeschooled most of her life.
• Then, a bunch of vampires kidnap her. She didn't even know they existed. (in this AU, Vampires are not common knowledge, so from now on, she has to try to hide what she really is. And try to deal with her ~urges~. And not feed on humans. Who knew that was bad?)
• She's turned against her will. :( Bill is also the worst maker ever.
• She tries to visit her family at one point, and almost murders her father. This is apparently bad.
• Bill gives her a special ring so she can be out in the daylight and enrolls her in the local high school, West High, to try to help her keep some of her humanity.


THIRD-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE:Jessica's eyes flew open and something suddenly seemed amiss. It was sunny. She hadn't felt the sunshine on her skin in months, not since Bill turned her, forced into becoming a monster. And it didn't hurt. She knew that it wouldn't have as strong of an effect on her as it would an older vampire like Bill or Eric but it should be having some sort of effect.

Maybe she was still asleep. Dreaming. Not that's dreamed since she was dead. So that couldn't be the case.

She rose to her feet, bearing her fangs in a careful stance. What was going on? Sure, there was wilderness back in Bon Temps, but none of it was as nice as the Woods here. It was all..surreal and pretty looking, like somethin' out of a dream or fairytale. But Jessica knew better than to give that thought much better. Life wasn't a fairytale, not when it came to her.

As she made her way through the trees, looking for a sign of anyone else the urge to feed was growing stronger. She was just about to eat before she suddenly ended up in the place. And she was so hungry and this was so unfair.

"Is anyone out there? I'm gettin' really sick and tired of just bein' by myself already. What is this place?" She called out. No answer. She paused, stomping on the ground and frowning before sitting down in the leaves with a pout.

"Why do these things always happen to me anyways? I'm so hungry and I'm all alone and this just sucks."

She'd think maybe she was being punished but she hadn't even fed on that guy yet. And it wasn't like she was gonna kill him or anything. She just wanted some fresh food for once. Was that so bad?

Apparently.

FIRST-PERSON WRITING SAMPLE: [A video feed turns on. Jessica is staring at the screen, a little unsure about how to do this.]

Hello? Is this thing on or what? I ain't too good with technology stuff yet. Ain't got a lot of experience with it or nothin'.

So what is this weird place anyways? I mean, we got forests back in Bon Tomp, but they ain't nice or pretty like they are here. They're kind of just gross and dark there, not really the kinda place you'd wanna go out on your own in or anythin' like that.

I just wanna know why the hell I'm here already! I'm so hungry, I was just about to eat and everythin'. It's totally not fair at all.

Nothin' good ever hapens to me. It totally blows.

So does it beep when your time's up? I’m never quite sure just how you’re ‘sposed to work one of these things.
[She gets up and starts fiddling around with the buttons.]

Oh, maybe it's thi-

[Video is done transmitting.]